The Man Rules

I haven't had anything to post in a while, so I thought I would share this hilarious email I got the other day...

"The Man Rules"
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
We always hear 'the rules' from the female side ...Now here are the rules from the male side.

Please note.. these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched...We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

The Fab 5

OK! So this is how this works...the first 5 people to respond to this
post will receive something made by me for you.
my choice.
made especially for you. I'm not even sure if 5 people will respond to this, oh well...it's fun! THANKS JILL!
Of course there are some restrictions and limitations:


1 I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
2 What I create will be just for you.
3 It will be done sometime this year.
4 You have no clue what it will be... it may be a story. It may be poetry or an article on properly cleaning your face before a masque. I may draw or paint something. I may bake something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure. :]
5 I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? The catch is that you must repost this on your own blog
and offer the same to the first 5 people who do the same on their blog.

The first 5 people to do so and leave a comment telling me they did will win a FAB-U-LOUS homemade gift by me!!


Oh! And be sure to post a picture of what you win when you get it!!